DiSC® concept of flex

When a person moves into a DiSC style outside their own and exercises those types of behaviors, we refer to that as flexing or stretching.

From the Everything DiSC Manual:

Flexing is about adapting one’s natural inclinations to the needs of the hour or of another person. So a fast-paced D- or i-style person might flex into an S style when teaching a child a new task. An i- or S-style person might flex into a more skeptical and objective mindset when buying a used car. Flexing is something we all do. Relationships are improved when people can respond to not just their own needs, but also to the needs of others.

Flexing becomes easier as we practice it. The more we stretch into an unfamiliar or uncomfortable behavior, the more flexible and limber we get. The analogy of a rubber band pinned to your DiSC dot can be helpful. It takes more energy the farther you pull the band. So moving a little way into the style next to yours takes less energy than stretching all the way across the circle. The band becomes easier to stretch the more you stretch it, and always moves back to its original position when you stop.

Our ability to flex is one reason why we don’t use DiSC as a reason not to adapt or as an excuse for bad behavior. Statements like “I’m a C style, you’ll just need to learn not to take my criticisms personally” encourage stereotypes and rigidity, which is the antithesis of what Everything DiSC® stands for.

Why flex into another style?

Flexing makes us more versatile. We do it all the time. You probably learned as a kid which tactics worked best to influence a parent or teacher. Maybe your English teacher responded well to high spirits and tolerated noise, but your science teacher did not. So you acted a little differently depending on which class you were in. Or, at least, you knew you should try. Flexing gives us more options.

Below you’ll see examples from Everything DiSC® Agile EQ™.

Benefits of stretching to an S style:

• Helps you keep an open mind
• Ensures you’re supportive and approachable

Benefits of stretching to a C style:

• Helps you separate facts from emotions
• Allows you to stay rational under pressure

Benefits of stretching to an i style:

• Helps you build trust and open channels of communication
• Fosters a sense of camaraderie and inclusion

Benefits of stretching to a D style:

• Conveys to others your conviction in your opinions
• Brings candor to situations that benefit from straight talk

Examples of stretching

Example 1

You’re a manager with a new employee. Your former direct report, like you, was very sociable and direct. You even knew they were a Di style and that was very complimentary to your iD style. Neither of you gets upset if a conversation goes off-topic for a bit, and you’re intimately familiar with thinking out loud. Now you’re working with someone who is quiet, serious, and cautious. You’re not going to change your personality to match theirs, but you will be more successful if you flex into their style when giving them feedback or when trying to motivate them. Part of getting the most from your new hire will involve adjusting some of your own behaviors.

Example 2

You’re reporting to your manager on a recent meeting. Knowing their iS style and returning to your Everything DiSC® Management report could really help you shape your account. You will want to keep these tips in mind:

i style: Focus on the new or the changing, suggest what might be next, show enthusiasm (if genuine), report on anything that will affect the team, include any interesting tidbits you learned, use adjectives. Answer the “who” questions: who was involved, who will take next steps, who will want to know.

S style: Focus on what was on the agenda, how decisions were made, how they and their people will be affected, be clear. Ask what else they want to know. Answer the “how” questions: how will this work, how will this affect others, how will we measure success.

You can review these quick tips and combine them with what else you know about your manager’s quirks and priorities to give them what they need. That’s much better for both of you than giving them the type of report you might have preferred. And, of course, your manager will also benefit by knowing how someone with your DiSC style generally prefers feedback and recognition.

When feeling overstretched

Repeated flexing can wear you out. So it’s important to know how to recharge yourself. If you’re a C style who will be presenting at a conference, you’ll probably want to skip the happy hour event afterward and go home to read a mystery. If you’re a D style and also the primary caregiver for a parent, you probably need to keep your regular tennis game schedule. We all need time off from flexing to recharge.

If your DiSC dot is farther from the style you need to flex into, you’ll need more energy to get there. Your battery will drain if you don’t find ways to recharge it. Knowing what behaviors give you energy is just as important as knowing which ones drain it.

We can watch for signs of overstretching. Have you noticed that most summaries of DiSC styles will include something about less-than-positive characteristics? For example, the DC style tends to overuse bluntness and can have a sarcastic or condescending attitude. They may be digging in their heels or “going it alone.” These behaviors can be a signal that the DC is getting overstretched. If you notice a colleague spending more time in the “overuses” part of their personality, it could be time to review their style’s fears and help them find ways to express their style in healthy ways.

Facilitation activity

Each DiSC style has strengths, and it also has challenges or behaviors that can be overused. After discussing the styles with DiSC learners, ask them to share examples of how they have flexed in the past and where they wish they had flexed more easily.